7 Tips to Help Mentally Handle an unexpected (2nd) pregnancy

You guessed it folks...We found out two weeks ago that we are expecting baby number two! If your trying to do the math, our babies will be 16 months apart from each other. I am going to be joining the 2 under 2 club! Any of my readers out there a member of that club? Or a far scarier club (in my opinion), the 3 under 3 club?

Well over the last two weeks since we've known, I've been trying to slow myself down, and take note of what all is going on with myself, & what all my thoughts are, so as I figure them out, I can tell you guys how it all worked out! Because I know it'll all work out, not immediately, but eventually. That's what being a mom is all about, making it all work.
I don't know about you guys, but with my first pregnancy (which I will explain how it was completely different than this one so far!) EVERYTHING that could go wrong, did, and it did so all at once. Nothing with the pregnancy went wrong, just everything else in my life, I was so uncomfortable I couldn't work, our living situation, Big B's Job situation, everything. I had mental breakdowns a few times throughout those 10 months about nothing going my way (hormones I'm sure). But you know what? It feels that way again. I don't know if its the instant stress of all of it, or if it's just poor timing. So for this second time around, I am still dealing with the feeling of nothing going my way, and the world being against me.

My first tip for you guys, would be deep breaths. It's a simple one, but when you feel the tears welling up, and panic setting it, block the world out, and take 10 minutes to just breath, and not think about anything. I've been doing it daily, because my anxiety is actually affecting my ability to take deep breaths, so I am really having a hard time doing such a simple task.

I would also like to remind you guys to not feel guilty about having a second baby so close with your first. I have been feeling really guilty about not giving Little B more alone time before there was another little munchkin. I'm sure lots of mothers have that initial feeling. But kids close in age will always have a playmate! He won't realize he didn't get years alone with us, because all he'll know is being with his sibling & us. I know once the baby comes, one of my main focus' will be to continue to spend alone time with him, & give him the attention he deserves. Of course I am using Pinterest to learn about great tips from other mothers with 2 under 2.

My third tip is to not feel guilty about getting pregnant when it comes to your husband. Big B and I did not plan this baby, we were open to another one in a few years, but due to our VERY hectic schedule the last 2 1/2 months, I did not make an appointment to refill my birth control. I figured we're so busy we don't have time for "adult" shenanigans... well evidently we did find time, at least once, & that's all it took. I was so scared to tell him, not one part of me was excited to break the news to him. I was shaking and fighting back the tears, which led him to guess the big news! He has always said "one and done", & I've always wanted 3 kids, & we are still working out a compromise, so I was really afraid he would think I planned this without consulting with him first. But he understood that it just happened.We tried for 9 months to get pregnant with Little B, I charted, and had a dozen different ovulation tracker apps on my phone. Researching, and reading articles was all I did all day everyday, I was obsessed & had terrible baby fever....and this time, I didn't do one thing, I can't believe it. I still can't believe it.

Look on the bright side, you've been through it all before. You know all the steps you have to do. You know to update your insurance, what appointments to make, whether you want to change your doctor or hospital, & it all happened not too long ago, so you should remember most of it! You also know what to expect, you'll know if you're having a contraction or not, you'll know if something doesn't feel quite right, you'll know how uncomfortable you'll be when your 39 weeks pregnant.My personal silver lining is that Little B was born in August, I was 9 months pregnant when it was 102 degrees outside, I basically hated everything and everyone because I was so uncomfortable & hot. This time I am do in January, so I will still be little during summer, and getting bigger throughout fall and winter! I'm pretty darn stoked about that!!

This ones a no brainer, SPEND TIME WITH YOUR 1ST BABY. As much as possible, cherish every moment with them until baby number 2 comes. Focus on having more patience, & try to go out and do more things, not just sit at home on the weekends. I know the park has Little B's name all over it for this weekend! I'm holding him a little more, and kissing him a little longer ever since I found out our alone time wont be all the time shortly.

My next tip is an extremely important one; have a plan for your birth control in place for after you give birth (unless you want baby number 3 not far behind!). I however am not planning on having 3 under 3, because I think Big B would lose his marbles. So I plan to get an IUD placed once I'm healed. That's the method I used before Little B, but after I had him I didn't want to go that rout because I wasn't sure if we wanted to wait 5-10 years before having another one. I know I can get it taken out anytime, but it is SO uncomfortable being placed and removed, so I wanted to use it for a longgggg time before getting rid of it. So I went with the patch after having Little B... Well my 6 month supply ran out, and then I was busy with our wedding, then we went to Montana to visit family, then once we got back we had to turn around and go back for the death of Big B's Mother...and then bam, we we're pregnant. So this time I know the importance of not putting something like that off unless we plan to have another baby! So this will be one of my top priorities after I am healed, no postponing, and no excuses.

Last but not least! Get excited! Try to not focus on all the stress of everything, and focus on the fact that in a short period of time you will have another sweet perfect baby!! I think the fact that you know you only have so much time before they're here is what stresses us out, we know we only have so many days to get so much done, and try to make our home, and their whole world perfect for when they arrive. But the reality is is that they're babies, and for the first few months they are pretty easy to please (for the most part!). We're stressing over things that the baby wont even know about, notice, or remember. We just need to stay calm while we're pregnant, for both ourselves, our little peanut, and the others in our family. I can't be having mental breakdowns and crying fits every night before bed, for multiple reasons, the stress it puts on me, the stress it puts on Big B, it could wake up Little B, and it's just not worth it. Everything will be FINE. 

I know a lot of it is my hormones, but it is still hard. But on the plus side, this pregnancy so far has been much easier! I feel great (absolutely exhausted) but great! No morning sickness of any sort (so far! knock on wood!) no food aversions, with the first one I couldn't eat eggs! I also couldn't even brush my teeth without throwing up, or swallow pills. So far nothing like that with this one! The only thing I've noticed that I did with the first one and this one, is that I am so tired, I spend my lunch hour napping in my car.
Maybe since this ones so different it'll be a girl this time?
Here's to hoping!

Are any of you expecting your second little one to make you a member of the 2 under 2 club? Was it planned? was it the surprise of a life time? Do you have any tips for me while I'm still figuring my Sh*t out?

Thanks for reading!